Adventures of the Halloween Variety
by L-chan the Great
Summary: A super late Halloween special that I promised a month ago.  Lovino and Antonio go trick-or-treating, having plenty of misadventures that only an oblivious Spaniard and socially-awkward peng...  Italian can get into.


**This is very late, isn't it. Well, my internet is FINALLY back up, so here's the special I promised. Finally, right? I hope it's worth the wait, and if you like, I will write a Thanksgiving special, and maybe a Christmas one too. But I'm getting ahead of myself, aren't I?**

**I'm now a Brony, though I'm a girl. Also, my friend made me a collage of SpaMano, and it's the greatest thing EVER! Be jelly. :D**

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><p>Lovino was in a very bad mood. It was the worst scenario ever on the worst day of the year. Today was October 31—Halloween. The sun was already low on the horizon, and thus Lovino was stealing himself for the onslaught of unwanted guests who would swarm around his door, begging for the candy that he did not have. Worse yet, he was alone in the house.<p>

Normally, this would be a very good thing. Although he didn't like the thought of that potato bastard's hands over his younger brother, at least it kept the annoying Feliciano from irritating him constantly, begging his fratello to take him Trick-or-Treating. There was no way in hell he was going to dress up in some idiotic costume and go door-to-door, demeaning himself by asking for hand-outs like some beggar child. No, he just wouldn't do it. So he should feel relieved that Ludwig took Feliciano out of his hands. Also, that damn Spanish bastard wasn't here. Usually, Lovino would have received dozens of phone calls and text messages from Antonio, but today the Spaniard was strangely silent.

Not that this in itself was necessarily a bad thing. It wasn't like Lovino looked forward to the many messages, saying loving things in Spanish and Italian. No, they were definitely annoyances, and just got in the way of his napping or whatever else he was doing at that particular time. So Lovino tried to enjoy the peace as well as he could, because in moments it would be shattered repeatedly by children who wished to march right into an early grave.

And that was the problem with the house being empty. It wasn't like he was lonely. There was simply no one else to answer the door and tell the Trick-or-Treating annoyances to leave. So Lovino had to do it by himself.

That was why Lovino was currently laying on the couch, staring at the ceiling as he idly worked his way through a large bowl of tomatoes. This much oncoming stress definitely warranted a major tomato binge. He didn't even care that the juice slid down to his elbow, and down his cheeks. It wasn't like he was trying to look nice for anybody. Lovino was definitely happy to be alone for the moment, and not at all lonely.

The doorbell rang.

He grimaced, steeling himself for the long battle through the night, and rose from the couch. The bowl was still half-full of tomatoes, he noted sadly. It wasn't like he'd have much of a chance to finish the wondrous bunch of fruit until the amount of candy-seekers died away. He wiped as much of the tomato juice off his skin as he could.

And so the night begins.

Lovino felt like a brave soldier, marching to his death. By the end of the night, he just knew he would barely be restraining himself from strangling the life from small, hopeful children. Resigning himself to the worst, he opened the door.

"Damn it, bastard, what the hell are you doing here?"

Of course it would be Antonio standing at the door, smiling as obliviously as ever, instead of a small child asking for candy. Lovino was furious. That bastard should have called him ahead of time, instead of just showing up at his door and nearly giving him a heart attack.

"I'm here to spend Halloween with mi tomate~!" Antonio said cheerfully. He held up the plastic shopping bag he'd brought, filled with currently unknown items.

Lovino backed away to put distance between them, which Antonio simply took as an invitation to come inside. "No! That better not be what I think it is!" he said, glaring fiercely.

Antonio smiled innocently. "What do you think it is?" he asked.

"Damn it, I'm not going Trick-or-Treating with you!"

The Spaniard continued to smile. "Aw, but Lovi, I found something really cute for you to wear~!"

Lovino looked around for something to throw. Fortunately for Antonio, the only possible projectiles around for him to use was the bowl of tomatoes, and there was no fucking way he was wasting his favorite food on that idiot. "I don't want to wear it! You probably got something perverted!"

There was a mock-hurt expression on Antonio's face. "Aw, I wouldn't do that to my Romanito~! You're too cute already!" he protested, although the look on his face said that he wouldn't mind seeing Lovino wear something enticing. He set the bag on the couch, while Lovino watched from the other side of the living room, and pulled out kitty ears.

"No! I'm not wearing it!" Lovino said. He knew Antonio would try and put him in something perverted.

"But it's not that bad, Lovi! Just the headband, and then some black shorts and t-shirt!" Antonio said, producing each item accordingly. "Oh, and the tail, of course." A dreamy look came over his face. "You'll look so cute as a kitty!"

:"For the last time, I am not going trick-or-treating with you, damn it! And I am definitely not wearing that fucking costume!" Lovino said, crossing his arms stubbornly over his chest.

Antonio considered him for a while, then looked down and noticed the bowl of tomatoes. He stooped down to pick up the bowl. Grinning at Lovino, he pulled out a tomato and took a huge bite out of it. "Won't you just try it on?" he asked, finishing off the fruit and then licking the juice from his fingers.

The glare Lovino shot him was enough to send any normal person running to greet death with open arms. "Those are my tomatoes, bastard!"

Ignoring the death glare Lovino was giving him; Antonio worked his way through the bowl. "Just for a few seconds, please?"

The Italian was much more stubborn than that, though. "I'm not going to dress up as a cat, even for tomatoes," he said with finality, although it nearly hurt too much to force out.

Antonio sighed, and dropped the bowl on the couch. "I guess you leave me no choice then," he said, with a grin that made Lovino shiver nervously. Without any warning, he leapt at the Italian.

The next thing Lovino knew, he was on the ground, and Antonio was currently fumbling with the buttons of his shirt. "Damn it let go of me!" Lovino protested uselessly, as the Spaniard continued unbuttoning his shirt.

Despite Lovino's struggling, the Spanish man had the shirt off his shoulders in a matter of seconds. Antonio paused for a second, admiring his bare-chested lover. "Aw, Lovi, you're so cute~! I don't even want to put the costume on you anymore!" he said, hooking his fingers in the waistband of Lovino's pants.

Lovino finally managed to push Antonio away as his face heated up 1000 degrees. "Damn it! Fine! I'll put it on! Mierda!" Snatching the costume away from Antonio, Lovino quickly retreated into the bathroom.

He changed quickly, just in case Antonio managed to burst through the locked door, which Lovino had no doubt the Spaniard was capable of, no matter how idiotic he seemed. Antonio wasn't kidding when he said the costume wasn't that bad. The black gym shorts nearly fell to his knees, and the black t-shirt was loose fitting. Nothing to go crazy about, but he knew that bastard would probably get excited over just the cat ears.

Last thing he put on was the tail, which pinned to the back of his shorts. It was relatively heavy, and swayed enticingly every time he moved. Lovino blushed. Every small movement reminded him of that long coil of black satin protruding from his backside. The ears and tail alone were enough to bring a flush of embarrassment to Lovino's cheeks.

Taking a deep breath, he opened the door and stepped out into the hall. Antonio looked him over quickly, and a huge grin lit up his entire face. Lovino just barely braced himself for the hug Antonio suddenly launched at him.

"Que linda~! Oh, Lovi, mi little gato~! Mi tomate~! Cuuuute~!" Antonio exclaimed, more excited than usual over Lovino's appearance.

Lovino unsuccessfully attempted to push Antonio away. "Damn it! Let go of me! You're acting like a fangirl at one of Japan's fucking anime conventions!" he said. As if he didn't have enough embarrassment without Antonio gushing over him like that.

"Wait here, Lovi, let me get my costume on!" At least the bastard had the decency to go into the bathroom to get changed, or Lovino would have grabbed a kitchen knife and stabbed the idiot to death once he'd stopped blushing.

Antonio took a significantly longer amount of time to get ready, and once he stepped out of the bathroom, with a flourish of his cape, Lovino saw why. The older nation was dressed in his outfit from the days he ruled the seas as a conquistador, until he was stopped by England. Lovino blushed. He could see why Spain was the country of passion. The outfit certainly promised a passionate conquering.

"How do I look, Lovi?" Antonio asked, breaking him from his thoughts.

Lovino bit his lip and looked away stubbornly. "It's fine," he muttered, but the comment made Antonio beam all the same.

Antonio took hold of Lovino's hand. "Let's go Trick-or-Treating now! Or…" He leaned up close before Lovino could protest, so the smaller nation was trapped between him and the wall. Their bodies were pressed up closer, with Antonio's neck craned so his hot breath tickled Lovino's ear when he spoke. "We could Trick-or-Treat right in here," he said suggestively.

Lovino's heart pounded as he fought the fire building in his gut. A traitorous part of him wanted to agree with Antonio's naughtier idea. His head spun while he attempted to make his voice work. It didn't help that Antonio was now nibbling on Lovino's curl, his fingers tracing long, gentle strokes down the Italian's face.

"Ahh, b—bastardo," he moaned. He hated that teasingly good feeling his curl caused. "D—damn it! Fine—ahh. I'll go Trick-or-Treating with you," he managed to say finally.

Antonio backed away with a triumphant smile. "Let's go then, Lovi~!" he said.

This time, Lovino allowed himself to be pulled outside.

Bad idea, bad idea, bad idea. This whole thing had been a _**BAD **_idea. Bad, as in, with the **bolding **and _italics _and _**everything!**_ Including capital letters.

Now, Lovino was sure that most people would be fucking _thrilled _to go out trick-or-treating with a hot, conquistador-styled Spaniard, but—

Wait, did he just think the words 'hot' and 'Spaniard' in the same sentence?

Damn it, Antonio's idiocy was getting to him.

Lovino shook his head to clear the tangential thoughts from his mind, trying to focus on almost anything else. Anything that wasn't his hand—which had somehow obtained thin, black gloves that the Spaniard snuck on some time ago; probably when he was _molesting _Lovino's poor curl—being gently held by Antonio as he led the Italian from house to house.

Like all the families that were fucking _swarming _the streets. Seriously, he never saw so many kids in his life, than he saw dashing about the streets in bloodthirsty (er, candy-hungry would be a more accurate term, he supposed) droves. Even being the manly man he was, and not flustered at all by something as wimpy as hand-holding, it was a terrifying experience.

"Are you ok, Lovi?" Antonio asked, looking at the Italian with such caring eyes that all curses and sarcastic remarks died in his throat.

Since he couldn't say anything bitter, all he could do was nod and try to hide his growing blush.

"Hi, mister! I like your costume!" One of those blood-thirsty kids said, running up to the couple with wide, curious eyes.

Antonio pointed to himself. "You mean me?" he asked, shouldering the (no doubt fake) axe with a wide smile. He was always great with kids, which was creepy when Lovino thought about his very _not-_kid-friendly past.

The kid—a girl who couldn't have been older than seven—shook her head so vigorously that her pigtail braids went flying. Lovino guessed she was Dorothy from that (stupid, because it wasn't Italian) American movie, "Wizard of Oz", which Alfred had absolutely _forced _him and Antonio and the rest of the fucking world (literally) to watch, because for some reason, the American was pretty damn _proud _of the movie.

"No, I mean Mr. Kitty!" she said, pointing at Lovino, whose cheeks flamed bright red in embarrassment.

"Mr.… Kitty?" Lovino hated how high-pitched his voice sounded. It definitely didn't help that the girl giggled and nodded in response. Great, now some brat thought he was a wimp.

After getting over his initial disappointment that he wasn't the one who'd attracted attention, Antonio flashed a bright grin at Lovino. "Mr. Kitty is cute, isn't he?" he told the girl. Lovino shot him a glare that said, 'Don't even start calling me that, or I'll kill you', but Antonio ignored it.

The girl smiled and nodded. "Yes! I want to be a kitty next year, too, just like Mr. Kitty!" she said.

Lovino knelt down so he was on eye-level with the girl. "Where's your mommy, kid?" he asked, looking around the street. He hoped the mother was around somewhere, so he could dump the brat back off with her and be on his way.

The girl's eyes widened when she saw Lovino's curl. "Wow! How do you get your hair like that!" she exclaimed, motioning to the curl and completely disregarding the question.

He sighed. Stupid kids and their extremely short attention spans. "It's natural. Sadly…" he said, glancing up at Antonio. "Do you see any adults giving us death glares right now?"

Antonio looked around. "Ah, si! Right over there!" he said pointing. Lovino looked, and sure enough there was a woman glaring warily at them, like she thought they were child molesters or something.

Honestly, Lovino couldn't blame her. Who else but child molesters (and Antonio, but he was borderline there) would go around trick-or-treating when they were obviously adults?

He turned his attention back to the still-mesmerized girl. "Listen, you should go back to your—."

Lovino was cut off when the girl suddenly reached up and gave a sharp tug on the curl and released it. "Boing!" she exclaimed, watching it bounce back. Then, seeing the flustered look on Lovino's face, she giggled and ran off.

"Goodbye, Mr. Kitty!" she called as she ran back to her mother.

Lovino had jumped to his feet, blushing wildly. "That fucking brat!" he half-whispered, distressed by the incident.

Antonio was almost laughing too hard to give a coherent answer. "You… She doesn't know… About the curl," he managed to say, trying to reason through his laughter.

The laughter didn't help any. "Shut up, bastard! Let's just go!" he said, grabbing Antonio's hand and dragging him to the closest house.

A couple houses later, Lovino's face was permanently red. "They're looking at us like we're freaks or something," he whispered furiously to Antonio.

The Spaniard looked up from his small bag of candy, and stopped his happy humming. "Is that so?" he asked, sounding like he didn't care too much anyway.

"Yes! This trick-or-treating stuff is for _kids_! Not fucking adults!" Lovino said, mortified.

Antonio shrugged. "Well, they didn't have trick-or-treating around when either of us were kids. So we have to make up for all that time of not being able to do it. Besides, look at all this free candy~!" he said, proudly holding up his bag like it was the greatest accomplishment in the world.

Lovino snorted. "Idiot, that's not much. I got way more than you, and we've been going to all the same houses," he said, crossing his arms with a smug grin.

Antonio wasn't perturbed. He poked Lovino's cheek with a sly smile. "Well, since you're just so _cute_, they just _have _to give the cute little kitty more candy."

He quickly slapped the idiot Spaniard's hand away. "Shut up, damn it! Stop calling me cute! 'Cute' is for fucking girls, and I'm a man!" he said.

"Aw, how cute, Lovi, your cheeks are turning red like tomatoes again~," Antonio gushed.

"Fuck you!" he hissed.

Antonio pouted. "Such horrible language. Who taught you these words? I bet it was the Netherlands. It was, wasn't it?"

"It wasn't!" Lovino said. Actually, it had been, but he didn't want to give Antonio _another _reason to hate his ex-colony.

Luckily, Antonio shrugged and moved on. "Anyway, I'd _love _to take your offer, but aren't we here to get candy first?"

Lovino blushed. "You idiot! That's not what I meant! Fuck! Let's just go!" he said, turning around and bumping into someone.

The person he'd bumped into fell forward, the wizard hat falling off his head. Lovino bounced backwards, and would have fallen as well if Antonio wasn't there to steady him.

"Watch where you're going!" Lovino spat, embarrassed that he'd run into someone, but never one to admit that.

"You watch where you're bloody going! _You're_ the one who ran into me, you prat!"

Lovino paled, realizing that the one he'd bumped into was England. He moved so that he was half-hidden behind Antonio. "Sh—shut up! You're the one who got in my way!" he said, his intimidation techniques undermined by his obvious fear.

"Don't worry, Iggy! The hero will help ya up, no prob!" And of course America was there, too, grabbing onto Arthur's arm in an attempt to haul the Englishman to his feet.

Arthur shook Alfred off. "Let go of me! I can help myself up, without the help of someone who can't even speak proper English. Honestly." Pretentious as always, Arthur stood up in his most dignified manner, brushing off the wizard hat and setting it back upon his head.

Antonio pushed Lovino slightly farther back behind him when he recognized the other two nations. Stupid, over-protective bastard, Lovino thought warmly. "What are you two supposed to be?" he asked them.

Alfred was wearing some blue spandex, which Lovino would never be able to un-see, much to his dismay. From his shoulders flowed a dramatically large, red cape. He gestured to his chest, which had two large golden letters on it. "I'm a superhero!" he said, grinning.

Lovino turned his attention to the letters. "S-A. What does that stand for? 'Sucks Ass'?" He laughed at his own joke.

The American sighed and gave Antonio a pitying look. "Sorry your boyfriend is so dumb. But don't worry! I'll tell him what it means anyway!" he said, turning his attention to Lovino again. "Obviously, it means Super America! Cuz I'm so super. Get it?" It was Alfred's turn to laugh at his own dumb joke.

"What the hell? I'm not an idiot!" Lovino seethed. He glanced at Arthur. "And you're a witch? Aren't witches supposed to be girls? Not that there's much of a difference," he snorted.

Arthur gave him a piercing glare that made him shiver and clutch Antonio's sleeve. "I'm not the one dressed up like a cat and hiding behind my boyfriend," he said.

Good point.

"Shut the fuck up!" Lovino said, but didn't move out from behind Antonio.

Antonio swung his axe in front of Lovino to block him from the other two nations. "Isn't it about time you two moved on?" he asked coldly.

"And what are you going to do with your fake axe, hm?" Arthur asked, raising one of his ridiculously large eyebrows.

For some suspicious reason, Antonio started laughing. "Fake axe? Is that what you think it is? Ok," he said, with that bright, psychotic smile on his face.

Both Lovino and Arthur paled at Antonio. Did that bastard seriously bring his real battle axe out into a street? A street that was filled with small, easily-sliced-to-ribbons children?

Alfred laughed, looking like he was getting a kick out of all of this. "Dude, you're crazy!" he said, and both of them shared a crazy-to-crazy moment.

Lovino and Arthur looked at each other, both sympathizing with the other for having insane boyfriends. Then they each grabbed hold of their respective partner, bid farewell to the other pair, and dragged the two in opposite ways.

"I can't believe you brought your real axe, idiotic bastard," Lovino muttered to Antonio, getting a few startled looks from various parents that were within earshot, who pulled their children closer to them.

"Should I not have?" Antonio asked, always the oblivious idiot.

"No, dumbass!"

"Oh, ahaha. My bad…"

"No shit!" Lovino was about to continue on his mini rant when a horribly familiar voice froze him to the core.

"Mon ami, Antonio!" Francis called out from farther down the street.

Antonio had the nerve to actually look _pleased _to see that scary-as-hell perverted Frenchman. If Lovino wasn't too busy being reasonably frightened, he would have kicked the idiotic Spaniard. As it was, he used Antonio was a shield, so that if Francis had to molest _somebody_, it would have to be the Spaniard.

Served him right!

Not that Antonio would even notice… Damn it!

"Hola, Francis! How are you~? I haven't seen you in forever~!" Antonio called happily, with a way-too-goofy grin on his face, which for some reason pissed Lovino off to see directed toward the perverted wine bastard.

"I bet it was only a few hours," Lovino muttered under his breath.

Francis smirked. "Antonio, mon ami, we saw each other only a few hours ago. Although missing my wonderful self is completely understandable," he said.

Lovino felt the sudden urge to acquaint his face with his palm.

Antonio tapped his chin, like he was actually trying to count how long it had actually been. Then his entire face lit up like a light bulb went off in his head. "Oh, right! It's been only 4 hours and 3 minutes~!" he said.

Maybe Lovino's head would be better acquainted with a desk.

Suddenly, he noticed the startlingly creepy look Francis was giving him. He automatically moved behind Antonio, glaring up at the Frenchman.

"What is it, perverted French bastard?" he demanded.

Francis ignored him, and looked to Antonio after he finished his appraisal of the Italian. "You know, when you said you were going to dress your little toy up like a 'cute little cat', that's not quite what I had in mind," he remarked.

Lovino went a bright red. "What the hell? You told your bastard friends about your perverted costume ideas?" he asked, punching Antonio in the arm.

The Spaniard whined lightly, rubbing his arm where Lovino punched him. "But I only told Francis," he protested, pouting.

Lovino gave him a suspicious glare. "And so you didn't tell the potato bastard's brother about dressing me up like this _at all_?" he asked.

"Of course not! Gilbert was already eavesdropping anyway, so I didn't _need _to tell him!" Antonio said, smiling like he was some kind of genius.

So much of a genius, in fact, that Lovino smacked him in his genius head. "You dumbass! Why are you saying perverted things about me to your idiot friends?"

"Actually, Antonio only wanted to borrow a cat costume from me for you, so I gave it to him," Francis said.

Lovino glared at Antonio. "You asked the pervert for a costume for me? Dumbass!"

Antonio pouted again. "But, Francis has all kinds of costumes, and I thought he had a cat costume or something," he explained.

Looking down at his costume, with the big shirt and long shorts, Lovino had to admit, the costume was pretty tame for the Frenchman. "Well, I guess it's not that bad," he said.

The Spaniard nodded eagerly. "Exactly! Except… Francis only gave me the ears and tail, so I had to look for the rest of the costume myself," he said.

Francis sighed regretfully. "There wasn't _supposed _to be more to the costume, mon ami," he said.

Lovino blushed heavily. Oh God, he was going to kill Francis in his sleep. Stupid Antonio, being such an oblivious dumbass!

Antonio still looked confused. "So Lovi is supposed to wear it over his normal clothes? That doesn't make it much of a costume, though…" he said uncertainly.

Francis slowly pressed his face into his palm; while Lovino was currently too disturbed by the entire encounter to even register Antonio's blatant idiocy.

"Bueno," Antonio said, clapping his hands and changing the subject. "What are you supposed to be?"

Francis was wearing actual clothes that night (which was a pleasant surprise to Lovino, whose mind was already scarred with the image of Alfred wearing spandex). It was an elegant outfit, looking like he was about to go on a date than go trick-or-treating, or whatever it was the bastard was doing.

"Oh this? Well, I've got a date with a beautiful young woman. I must say, she's a bit of a challenge, if you know what I mean," he replied.

Antonio smiled, looking slightly puzzled. "Erm, no? What do you mean?" he asked.

Francis sighed. "Just forget it, my idiotically oblivious friend. Just forget it and run along with your little date before it gets too late," he said.

That statement made Antonio look up at the sky, as if he could read the time in the night's stars. And apparently he could, too, because he jumped in realization and grabbed Lovino's hand. "You're right, Francis! Thanks, amigo~! Adios~!" Antonio sang, dashing off with Lovino in tow.

Lovino stumbled after the carefree Spaniard, taken off-guard by the sudden burst of movement. "Dammit, Antonio! Slow down!" he shouted.

Antonio did slow down. In fact, he stopped completely so that the shorter nation ran right into his back. Lovino began to growl. "Fuck! I didn't mean stop, you idiot! I—!" He was cut off by a pair of lips dominating his own. His mind whirled before he moved into the kiss, happily giving himself to Antonio.

All too quickly, it was over, and the Spaniard broke off the kiss, although he remained so that their faces were mere inches apart. Lovino found himself blushing and smiling like the goofball his lover was, not even bothering to hide it. The sight made Antonio laugh blissfully, reaching up to trace his thumb over Lovino's face.

"I'm happy that I get to spend tonight with you, Lovi. I love you so much," he whispered lovingly in a way that only the sexy Spaniard that was Antonio Fernandez Carriedo could.

And so Lovino responded in the only way a socially-awkward Italian that was Lovino Vargas could. He gave Antonio a weak, half-hearted push before laughing nervously. "You're such a sap, Toni. I love you, too." Antonio rewarded his cute little Italian lover with a kiss just as passionate as all of Spain.

Until Francis and Gilbert passed by and started wolf-whistling, causing Lovino to give Antonio a vicious head butt and proceed to chase the offenders down the street.

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><p><strong>smile-love-shine on tumblr. All Spamano. Shameless self-advertisement. Follow me, and I'll post all kinds of fun SpaMano things on it for you guys, with some stories of my own. And the SpaMano collage I got tonight (Dios mio, it is so AWESOME! More awesome than Prussia, I swear it!)<strong>

**Until next time, my dear readers!**

**Ciao~!**


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